Destructive Attitudes in Communication
While good communication can improve a quality of relationship, poor communication can weaken bonds, create mistrust and even conflicts. Poor communication skill can be caused by negative or even destructive attitudes, which we often do without realizing them. Here are some examples of negative attitudes in communication, and see if you have done some of them.
1. Being defensive
Rather than facing the conflicts with an objective eye and willingness to understand the other’s point of views, defensive people deny any wrongdoing and work hard to avoid looking at the possibility that they could be contributing to a problem. Denying responsibility may seem to alleviate stress in the short run, but creates long-term problems when partners do not feel listened to.
2. Being right
There is no exact right and wrong in resolving conflicts, especially if we think that our way of seeing things is right. It makes us blind to other solutions to resolve continuous conflicts, and makes us being avoided when it comes for others to talk about something that requires giving opinions.
3. Forgetting to listen
Some people interrupt, roll their eyes, and rehearse what they’re going to say next instead of truly listening and attempting to understand their partner. This keeps you from seeing their point of view, and keeps your partner from wanting to see yours.
4. Playing the blame game
Some people handle conflict by criticizing and blaming the other person for the situation. They see admitting any weakness on their own part as a weakening of their credibility, and avoid it at all costs, and even try to shame them for being ‘at fault’.
5. Stonewalling
When one partner wants to discuss troubling issues in the relationship, sometimes people defensively stonewall, or refuse to talk or listen to their partner. It shows disrespect and, in certain situations, even contempt, while at the same time letting the underlying conflict grow.
6. ‘Mind- reading’
Instead of asking about their partner’s thoughts and feelings, people sometimes decide that they ‘know’ what their partners are thinking and feeling based only on faulty interpretations of their action, and always assume it is negative. It creates hostility and misunderstanding.
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