Women Personality and Mental Health

Everyone has stressful days, weeks, even months. But according to the American Institute of Stress, for 43 percent of adults, stress is so severe that it causes physical and mental problems (it’s been linked to heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, obesity and hypertension). Many women feel particularly stressed because they’ve got so many responsibilities: caring for kids while juggling a job and personal commitments. But how do you distinguish normal, everyday stress from the kind that can actually make you sick?

Luckily, there are certain warning signs to look out for, and heeding them can enable you to reduce the stress before it spirals out of control. Here, how to tell whether you’re approaching burnout-and what you can do to fend it off.

SYMPTOM 1: YOU FEEL DISTANT FROM YOUR LIFE
When you’re overly stressed, it’s easy to get wrapped up in negativity and lose touch with what you normally feel enthusiastic and passionate about. “When stress levels get too high, you become disconnected from your true feelings,” explains licensed social worker Belleruth Naparstek, creator of a guided-imagery stressreduction program called Health Journeys for People Experiencing Stress. “For example, a nurse who’s burned out may no longer have empathy for her patients. She doesn’t remember what brought her to the profession in the first place.”
BOUNCE BACK: If work is the culprit, try to remember what sparked your interest in that field. “Ask yourself if you have the same sense of mission, purpose and commitment,” suggests Emmett Miller, M.D., cofounder of the California Task Force on Self-Esteem. If not, it may be time to switch careers or to recommit to your job.

Major changes don’t happen overnight. Start by reconnecting with your emotions. Think about the aspects of your work-and your life that you do enjoy, and build on them. One way to do this is to take a vacation. It doesn’t have to be a long or expensive one; spending a day doing only things that make you happy can help you gain perspective.

SYMPTOM 2: YOU’RE OFTEN HOSTILE AND ANGRY
“I knew I was burned out when I started snarling at people under my breath in the supermarket,” says Shauna Sampson, a 34-year-old mother of two in San Francisco. “I even turned around and yelled at a person in an SUV waiting for my parking space, `You and your gas-guzzling car aren’t going to fit!”‘
BOUNCE BACK: Sampson was lashing out at strangers because she wasn’t in touch with what was really upsetting her. “When I got home, I realized that, with a young child and a newborn, I was completely overwhelmed and sleep deprived, not to mention frustrated with my job,” Sampson explains. “I acknowledged what was making me unhappy and then focused on how I could change it. I began by drawing distinct boundaries between work and home-like turning off my phone in the evenings-so I could spend more quality time with my children.” Identifying the real source of your hostility is the first step toward dissipating it; the second is channeling your anger into something you care about, says Steven Berglas, Ph.D., author of Reclaiming the Fire: How Successful People Overcome Burnout. “Get involved in a cause that enables you to use your skills in a constructive way. This will help boost your self-esteem and temper the hostility you’re feeling,” he explains.

SYMPTOM 3: YOU BLOW EVERYTHING OUT OF PROPORTION
Liz Artis, 32, an editor in New York City, wanted to buy a house but had set a deadline that, in reality, she couldn’t meet. “As the date approached, I got very anxious and convinced myself it would never happen,” she says.
BOUNCE BACK: Regain your equilibrium by doing a reality check, says Jonathan C. Smith, Ph.D., distinguished professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago. “Evaluate whether you have unrealistic expectations,” he says.

That’s what Artis did, and she realized she was overreacting. “I was trying to do too much too soon,” she says. “So I revised my plan. I created short-term projects-like getting my financial info in order by a certain date-that would bring me closer to my ultimate goal.”

SYMPTOM 4: YOU FEEL AS IF YOU’RE DROWNING
We all get overwhelmed sometimes. But if you can’t seem to manage your life, personally or professionally, then it’s time to take stock.
BOUNCE BACK: The first step may be learning to say no to the things that are causing you stress. Whether it’s refusing to work late again or telling a friend you need her to listen to your troubles for a change, make a conscious choice to speak out, says Dr. Miller.

Next, try to lower your standards, at least for the time being. “Settling for nothing less than perfection all the time is a recipe for disappointment,” says Naparstek. If the house is dirty, treat yourself to a cleaner or make peace with the clutter.

SYMPTOM 5: YOU FEEL ISOLATED
You’re particularly likely to feel alone if the origin of your stress is a difficult or demanding job. Jen Bekman, 32, spent the last year and a half working so hard at an Internet company that she never even bought herself a bed, let alone paid attention to her personal life. It wasn’t until she got fired that she realized how closed off she had become. “I took the opportunity to take better care of myself, and part of that meant spending more time with family and friends,” she says.
BOUNCE BACK: Stay tapped into your support network. Call one friend every night. Ask your coworkers about their families and hobbies rather than just chatting about work. Find moments of real human contact every day. “The single most effective thing we can do to prevent burnout is to sustain positive, loving relationships,” says Dr. Miller.

SYMPTOM 6: YOU ACHE ALL OVER
Your body sends signals to alert you that you’ve pushed yourself too far, but you may miss them if you’re out of touch with yourself physically. “If you notice an increase in aches and pains and can’t identify the cause, your body’s letting you know you’ve had enough,” says Jesse Hanley, M.D., author of Tired of Being Tired. “The sooner you realize that stress could be the culprit, the earlier you can prevent a serious chronic condition.”
BOUNCE BACK: Naparstek recommends taking a careful inventory of your body. Breathe deeply and focus first on your head. Then, let go of any tension as you work your way down to your toes. You may also want to try a body-conscious workout like yoga or tai chi. “Yoga offers true physical and mental release,” says Joe Naudzunas, a certified instructor at the Iyengar Yoga Institute of San Francisco.

SYMPTOM 7: YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING
Insomnia and other sleep difficulties (such as waking up in the middle of the night) may be signals that you’re wound so tight your body can’t function properly.
BOUNCE BACK: If you wake up frequently or have trouble falling asleep because you’re mulling over a problem, make a “worry date.” Tell yourself that you’ll deal with it at a certain time the next day, and put it out of your mind for the night. Noemi Balinth, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, also recommends keeping pen and paper at your bedside. “Jotting down intrusive thoughts allows you to get back to sleep quickly, safe in the knowledge that you can return to them later,” she says.